A Saint Lucian mother says she is reaching breaking point as she struggles to find anyone capable of caring for her eight-year-old son with autism. The situation has left her caught between keeping her job, keeping her child safe and protecting her own mental wellbeing.
Her situation has become particularly difficult with school closed. The working mother says the person who previously helped care for her son can no longer take him to work, while another attempt at finding care ended with the eight-year-old removing his clothes and running through Castries and towards the road.
Now, she is pleading for access to specialised care and even occasional respite, saying she loves her son but desperately needs support. “I love my child. I would love my child around me,” she told Saint Lucia Daily Post, explaining that the relentless demands of caring for him without adequate support have left her feeling as though she is “going crazy.”
The mother, whose identity is being withheld at her request, said her biggest challenge is not providing financially for her son. She works and is able to support him. What she cannot consistently find is someone equipped to safely care for him.
She first noticed developmental concerns when he was approximately six months old. At that time, her mother was alive and helped care for him, making it possible for her to work. But as he grew older, his behaviour became increasingly challenging and the difficulty of finding appropriate care intensified.
“My biggest issue is finding a caretaker for him, because nobody wants to care for him,” she said, explaining that people are particularly concerned about being responsible for him because he can suddenly run away and put himself in danger.
Walking with him in public requires constant attention. If he pulls away and runs, she said, chasing him can cause him to believe she is playing with him and encourage him to continue. She has learned instead to stop and sometimes pretend she is leaving so that he will eventually follow. While she would not describe her son as violent, the mother said there are occasions when he may unexpectedly touch or hit someone.
His safety has also been an issue at school. She said teachers have reported instances in which he has run from the school compound and towards vehicles entering the area. On other occasions, she said, he has climbed onto vehicles or entered neighbouring areas and interfered with people’s belongings.
Those experiences have convinced her that her son requires an environment specifically equipped to manage children with more complex behavioural needs. The closure of school for the holidays has brought that need sharply into focus.
One of the people who had been assisting with her son previously took the child to work with him. That arrangement ended after an incident at the workplace, when the caregiver was told he could no longer bring the boy with him.
His mother then offered to assist with childcare, but the arrangement quickly demonstrated the difficulty of supervising him outside a controlled environment. During a trip into Castries, the boy removed his clothing and began running through the city and towards the road, forcing people to chase after him to prevent him from being injured.
The mother said concerns about the way her son was handled by a caregiver have also resulted in reports to Human Services. While efforts have been made to assist her in securing alternative care, she said the process has been frustratingly slow.
She has sought medical assistance as well. Her son was referred to a psychiatrist and has been prescribed three different medications, but she said the results have been temporary. The medication may initially calm him, she explained, but after some time his behaviour returns.
The strain is now affecting her too. After eight years of managing difficult situations while trying to remain patient with a child she knows is not deliberately behaving this way, the mother said she feels increasingly overwhelmed. There are moments when the frustration makes her want to lash out, she admitted, but she forces herself to “hold myself together” because she knows “it’s not his fault.”
She said the stress has become so intense that she experiences tension around her neck, worries about her blood pressure and has begun noticing herself forgetting things, leading her to fear that the situation is taking a toll on her mental health.
What she wants most is a reliable support system. She believes families caring for children with significant behavioural challenges need access to specialised facilities and programmes that continue operating when regular schools are closed. She would also welcome respite care, allowing her to leave her son somewhere safe for a short period and return for him afterwards.
Even being able to leave him in appropriate care for a weekend would allow her to “take a little break,” she said.
